Mardi Gras- New Roads Style

Happy Mardi Gras! We decided to load up the car and take a trip to New Roads for Mardi Gras. The weather could not have been better (okay, honestly it could have been a few degrees cooler), and we were luckily enough to have a friend going who is from New Roads and was able to give us the low down on the parade. We had such a great time- everyone could not have been nicer, and the parade was very family-orientated (i.e. G-rated).

Ava mostly waited for candy to be thrown, then spent the better part of the afternoon scrounging around on the ground for it. She was eating something in just about every shot I took of her. I don't even want to think about the amount of dirt and germs that were shoveled into her mouth. Oh, and to top it all off, at the end of the parade, on the way back to our car, she stuck her hand in a barrel that was being used to sell waters (ya' know the kind where EVERYONE reaches their hands in to pull a drink out of) and pulled out a piece of ice to eat. Eeewwwwww. What can you do about that? Eli, of course, was a pretty good boy. He didn't get too excited about the parade either, but did enjoy chewing on the beads. Again with the germs.

A REAL love story

The characters in this story are real. Real people, really very in love, really in love with each other, their daughter,and especially their God. I never cease to be amazed and in admiration of people who have their faith tested and handle it in such an amazing way. God bless.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/2008/01/confessionsofacfhusbandcom.html

One warm winter day.......

very few places can you (or should I say would want to) eat popsicles and play in the grass barefoot in the dead of winter......

No news is good news

Wow. It just hit me that our lives are BORING. How great is that? No one is sick or in the hospital. Our life seems to be one HUGE routine- and I love it.
Ava is getting so big, and oh, so smart. Already, so much smarter than me. She pee peed on the potty four times today- really, the first day we ever tried. I hate to brag, but I believe she might be a genius. She is growing up way too fast. Sigh, I already see her filling out college applications. Will we still be best friends?
Eli......wow, such an amazing boy and spirit. I swear, he never stops smiling (okay, he did stop tonight when he cracked his head on the windowsill, but only for a minute). I think he has laughed more in the past seven months that he has been home from the NICU than I have laughed in the past decade. He really has so much to teach about life. We only have to be open to the lessons. Plus, look at all that hair! Would it be wrong to put him in a bow?

How great is life and how lucky am I to have (I am sure) the best kids and husband?

See, no news here.

Goodbye 2007 (finally).....Hello 2008

To say the least, 2007 was a bittersweet year. Eli spent the first four months in the NICU, but then again, he did come home. 2007 was a year that I wasn't sure I could survive but here we are. Eli started the year at just over 2 lbs but now weighs in over 21+. Ava stopped wanting to kiss me on the lips but just tonight said "I love you, mommy". Ava started going to school 2 days a week, and I miss her so much when she is gone. But I am able to clean my house. We had to practically force Eli to eat 2 ounces at a feeding. Now, he has been known to eat as much as 16. Eli started out on a special formula for preemies. This morning, Eli had waffles and banana for breakfast. I started out the year trying to recover from 2 months of bedrest and major surgery. Now, I am close to being in the best shape I have ever been. Vic started off 2007, trying to deal with the worst stress of his life, couldn't concentrate for four months, and still finished his year as one of the best sales people in the country (and for sure, the VERY best father and husband). 2007 was hard, full of difficult lessons but even bigger triumphs.

That said, I am still elated to be saying goodbye to 2007. The outlook for 2008 couldn't be brighter.

Winter in Louisiana

Today was really the first day that I would classify as "winter" weather this year, and it was BEAUTIFUL! The high was in the mid-50's and sunny. Another Sunday alone, as daddy went to the Saint's game (Who Dat?!!), again. So, Ava, Eli, and I loaded up the car and headed to the zoo. It was one of our best excursions yet! We pulled into the parking lot at the zoo a little before noon and there was only one other car. As I was unloading the kids, the people in the other car left. We had our very own zoo! Where else could you live in the US and have that happen? The last few visits, the zoo left a lot to be desired, as there were hardly any animals out, even made you wonder if they existed. Not today! The animals love this weather, too. Two giraffes even were close enough that their heads were over the fence and you could (if you so desired, which I did not) touch them. Ava gave it serious thought but was then distracted by a leaf.

We broke a zoo rule when no one was around, and I let Ava feed a donkey (wait, do most zoos have donkeys?) some hay that had fallen outside of his pen. She walked right up and stuck it in the donkey's mouth, who had his face presses up against the fence. He ate it up, and Ava declared "delicious". Then, she said (to the donkey), "hey, where baby Jesus?". Maybe we have been playing with her nativity sets from her Grammy G too much. Ava is so brave. Our next stop was the petting zoo (is that correct term for a cage you can enter with some goats, sheep, and pig?). Ava grabbed a brush from a bucket went right up to a goat and started brushing him and declared-"ahhhh, so cute". It was such a sweet moment. Unfortunately, another goat started bucking and bleeping us. Then, if that wasn't bad enough, it came charging at us. Ava ran to me with her arms up (through a pile of poo, who's I don't know), I picked her up, and ran out the gate. Scary animal encounter.

We may have overdressed a bit for the occasion. As you can see, we shed layers during our trip. Afterwards, I went though the McDonalds's drive-thru. Ava will eat the apple slices and likes the toy. I ordered her the Happy Meal and when the cashier asked whether it was a toy for a girl or boy- I said boy. She has played with the toy robot that they gave her for about 15 minutes. The girl toy from last time, a doll named Angel Cake (her scent is stinky, not cakey), has been in her toy kitchen sink for weeks. Eli was trying to eat her the other day, but Ava really has shown no interest. Eli was wiped out from the trip. No Happy Meals for him yet.

Happy Birthday

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear.....)
- e.e. cummings

Dear Eli, my love, my birthday boy-
It has been exactly one year since this photo was taken- 365 days (148 spent without you home), nearly 20 pounds (you have come so far from 2 lb 14 oz), countless tears and worries, and endless joy and blessings for having you in our lives. I am so proud to call you mine. Anyone looking at you who does not know the story of your beginning would ever guess how far you have come. That is your biggest triumph. You still breathe a little louder than other babies and may be a bit smaller (however, not much fat boy), but I am sure that you smile more and laugh louder than the rest because I think you know. You know just how wonderful life is. You must- you fought so hard to live yours- and I am more grateful than I could possibly express that you have chosen us to be your parents, to be Ava's brother.

I am sorry and regret that you had to come out fighting. That my body couldn't hold you in longer like it should have. You have always been in a hurry to make your entrance in the world. You were a pleasant surprise (a surprise nonetheless) when we received the news that we were having you when Ava was only 10 months old and a surprise in the doctors office at 19 weeks when we were told that you may be arriving too soon. For eight weeks you worked your way into the world, always in a hurry. Finally, when you could no longer wait to meet us you arrived. You arrived to be quickly whisked away. With you went my heart and behind was left a grief that only someone with the world to lose could understand.

I regret that I only held you twice your first three months. Always afraid that by holding you I would hurt you. So many wires and tubes that it took three people, multiple feet of tape, and the coordination of performing a life-saving procedure, to get you in my arms. You spent so many days on the ventilator- coming off only to grow tired after fighting and fighting to breathe on your own and having to have that dreaded tube put back in place. Your daddy and I knew how important it was for you, us, our family, for you to make it off the vent that we were terrified of moving your tube even a milimeter and causing you yet another setback. I regret not knowing if this made a difference, or we just denied ourselves one of our greatest pleasures- holding you in our arms.

I regret that you were not able to sepnd your first Christmas, New Year's, Valentines Day, Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day, or Easter at home. I regret that you had to spend so many days in a plastic box only to graduate to a bigger bed, then crib that was not your own. No matter how many blankets, stuffed animals, or mobiles we brought in, that bed/crib- your entire world, was not your own.

I regret the IVs in your arms, legs, feet, and especially in your scalp. I regret the sticks into your fingers, toes, and heels (as many as eight in one day). I regret the scars left as reminders all over your little body. I regret the tube that was keeping you alive hurt you so much. I regret the numerous medicines, procedures, tests, CAT scans, MRIs, ultrasounds and surgeries that you had to undergo.

Despite all of these regrets on my part, you still allow me to be your mom. Despite all of the things you have undergone, despite that I was unable to protect you and keep you safe, you are still my son.

Has the passage of time eased any of the hearthache I felt for you? I don't think so. I will always tear up at the thought of what you have endured to be here. However, with each day, each pound, each inch, each milestone that you achieve, your days spent in the NICU become more distant in my thoughts. You came into the world fighting, fought bravely for 148 days to come home, and continue to fight. One only needs to look at you, see your smile, or hear your laugh to see that not only are you making it- you are thriving. You are remarkable. You are my son.

What a difference a year makes. You are home now, and our family is complete.


Happy birthday, Eli, my heart.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- JEREMIAH 29:11